Alright, let’s talk about this feeling, this moment I tried to capture when I jotted down “a god among men” in my notes. It wasn’t about ego, not really. It started, like most things, with a mess.
We had this project, totally sideways. Everything was broken, deadlines were screaming, and honestly, people were just pointing fingers. Classic stuff. I remember walking into that meeting room, the air thick with panic. My first thought? Run. Seriously, just turn around and pretend I got the wrong room.
But I didn’t. I sat down. Listened. Took a deep breath. Then, I just started doing stuff. Didn’t ask for permission much, just jumped in. Started small.
The Grind Phase
First, I pulled the main pieces apart, virtually speaking. Tried to see what actually worked and what was just noise. Spent hours, days really, just digging. It wasn’t glamorous. Lots of coffee, lots of staring at the screen, lots of dead ends.
- Checked the basics. Always start there.
- Talked to the quiet guy in the corner. He knew things.
- Tried a fix. It broke something else.
- Tried another fix. Small win.
- Kept chipping away.
Slowly, things started to untangle. It was like untying a massive knot, one tiny loop at a time. And somewhere in that process, something shifted. I wasn’t panicked anymore. I was just… moving. Fixing. Building.
That Weird Feeling
Then came the moment. Maybe a week or two into the thick of it. Someone asked a question in a group chat, total panic. And I just had the answer. Typed it out, simple, clear. Then another question, same thing. I realized I had the whole damn thing mapped out in my head. I knew the broken parts, the working parts, the tricky parts.
People started coming to me directly. Not my boss, not the official lead, just… me. And I could help. I could guide them. Point them right. Suddenly, I was the calm in the storm. It felt… powerful. Not in a bossy way, but in a capable way. Like, whatever happened, I could handle it. That’s the “god among men” thing, I guess. Just for a flicker of time, feeling utterly, completely competent and in control when everything else was chaos. Like you’re seeing the matrix.
It’s weird, though. Because that feeling brings weight. Suddenly, you feel responsible. Like you gotta carry that burden, keep things moving, keep people calm. Like that old saying, right? About bearing burdens. It’s not just about having the answers, it’s about holding the space for things to get fixed. It’s heavy.
Back to Earth
Of course, it doesn’t last. The crisis passed. Things settled down. The feeling faded. I went back to being just… me. Stumbling through tasks, asking dumb questions sometimes, needing coffee just to function. But I remember that pocket of time. The clarity. The capability.
So, that was the practice. Not practicing to be a god, obviously. But practicing getting into the mess, finding the threads, and pulling until things make sense. And sometimes, if you’re lucky, you hit that state of flow where it feels like you can do anything. It’s rare, it’s fleeting, but man, it’s something to remember when you’re back in the weeds.
